'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
