He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
