Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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