He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
A+ Viking dick
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
