The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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