About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
