Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
