i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
