I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
