this just has baby written all over it
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
