I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
