There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
