Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
