I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
