I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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