You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
