I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
