just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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