I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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