i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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