The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
