i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
