Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
