you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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