Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
