I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
