I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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