We named our party play list daddy issues
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
