The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Randomize
