I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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