I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
