i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
