I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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