Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
