There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
