Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
