it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
