i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
