And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
