Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
