I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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