dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
