Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
