OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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