Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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