I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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