Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
