So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Randomize
