I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
