Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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