I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
