Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It's never too late to be topless.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
